An Easter Child

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the children who have been abused and have not found your voice.  

I am listening.

Forward

Diana Dunham has been an encourager throughout her life. She has survived a traumatic childhood and in spite of her trauma, has been a continual light to others. Diana has lived her life as an example of resilience. She has allowed her hardships to teach her lessons and gather wisdom. Diana has utilized her relationship with God to heal her, guide her and to allow her to continue to be a light to others that have traveled through life’s darkness. 

A Child Is Born

While I don’t remember the day I was born, the significance of the day, Easter morning, I believe added a layer of protection to my very disturbed childhood. My parents had lost a child before me so for me to be born on Easter morning should have been a blessing for everyone and for a few short years it was.

However this Easter child would soon become hated by her mother and loved too much by her father.

My parents met in war torn Germany and returned to the States where my mother become a citizen. My older sister was born while they still lived with her grandparents and shortly before I was born they moved to the “farm”. My mother became responsible for not only raising the children but doing the farm work as well. To say they struggled is an understatement.  

We lived in a farmhouse with minimal means and my parents struggled to make ends meet. It seemed every time my mom turned around she was pregnant and in a matter of years there were four of us. I believe my parents were ill equipped to become parents and I vowed when I had children of my own they would know unconditional love.

Having children is one of God’s greatest blessings and for me to be born on Easter morning should have been the miracle it was intended to be. However, my childhood was fraught with punishments of unspeakable horror, sexual abuse at the hands of my father and begging to be loved throughout my childhood. I am still amazed that I survived as well as I did but then again, I was an Easter Child.

Teenage Years

My teenage years were frought with teenage emotions and the stigma of knowing what I had done with my dad was wrong. Through in a turmultous relationship with my mother and on the surface I looked like everything was fine but on the inside I died a little every day.

The day I got my period I remember my mom giving me a pad and telling me to deal with it. There was never any loving mother and daughter relationships. When my daughter got her period I cried for her and for me.

I was a gangly teenager, who had braces, glasses and wanted to be loved. While I was not one of the popular girls those that remember me from my high school days would say I was always happy. Boy I sure had them fooled. One of my greatest loves was learning to play a piano. While my childhood was fraught with avoiding my father, the knowledge I was not pure and staying clear of mom I survived. In 9th grade I met a boy, Freddie, and we began to date. I was now one of the popular girls I had a boyfriend! Mom watched my like a hawk and I had to be home by 11. I was threated if I got pregnant she would send me to NYC for an abortion so I was sure my boyfriend and I did not go all the way. Foolishly I kept a detailed diary of our escapades and my sister broke the lock and showed it to my mother. What kind of sister would betray a sister’s trust and for what reason? To this day I remember walking up the driveway after school. For some reason I was the only one of the family on the school bus that day and when I got to the top dad had a fire in the trash bin and was home alone. My first thought was he would have his way again with me. Instead he told me they had found the diary and I was to burn it. But then things really went south.

It was Christmas weekend going into New Years and after a stressful Christmas I was told I was being exiled to my aunts in Philadelphia. To this day I remember looking out the window at my mom as it drove away. She actually felt my dad was being too strict, but what could I tell her. I experienced what I did with my boyfriend because I had experienced the same with her husband? The guilt was debilitating. I got to my Aunts and bless her she never asked any questions and even let me call my boyfriend on New Years Day. When I returned I remember mom wanted to take me shopping, I know to make amends. I tried to break up with my boyfriend, but we were drawn back together. He never knew what had happened to me as a child either, and this was a man I was with for four years! 

I remember once I was so distraught I was going to run away. I could not see my life getting any better and I was so distressed. As I ran up the road, I remember her yelling out the kitchen window she’d send the police to pick me up and put me in jail. I had no backbone, I had no fight in me. I returned home and just wanted to be loved.