Running From Her

I have been trying to run from the little girl I was for years,

Trying to pretend the abuse didn't happen.

Trying to forget her

Trying to reject her

But she is always there 

Going around in my head

So much anger at her

A fiery hatred in my heart

I thought it was the little girl I hated

She was bad, she deserved it

It was all her fault.

That girl is always there, crying for help.

Unloved, neglected, and abused 

Emotionally and intimately destroyed

Those feelings and memories don't go

The hurt, pain, and anger remain,

Threatening to destroy my sanity

Trying to resurface and torment me.

Any joy I experience is ruined by her

The incredible sadness stays in my heart.

Truth, sweet, authentic truth

I want to tell her she's brave,

That the courage she has shown is immense

Tell her to stand up and share her story.

I am so sorry

Sweet, innocent, vulnerable child 

Precious in the eyes of God,

She is starting to turn into a butterfly

Colorful and beautiful, flying free

Up up and away to a new life for me.