To Child Sexual Abusers

I will never understand how an adult can sexually abuse a child. When that adult is a parent, a relative, a trusted person in their lives, it is even more unfathomable. I mean, I understand it happens. I understand how it happens. Children trust with open hearts, especially their relatives. It happened to me, by my dad, by my uncle, by a church youth leader. I also understand that hurt people hurt people, blah blah blah. This isn’t from the adult that understands all of that. This is from a survivor of it all whose heart breaks for so many innocent children who are hurt deeply by adults that have no conscience. No morality. Maybe they do have those things buried deep underneath the evilness of their actions, but for the child, it’s too late. The damage is done. The emotional consequences are inflicted, and the child is left with the wreckage.

The way we respond to these children is crucial. They do NOT make these things up. The perpetrators will try hard to discredit the child and the other adults who are doing their best to protect the child. But I repeat, children do NOT make these things up. I was not believed. I was shunned, punished, and silenced when I tried to tell, and that set me up for a life of feeling I was not worthy, my voice did not matter and on it goes. When we respond with compassion, belief, and protection, the child learns that their voice matters, they are cared about and though there is healing to be done for sure, it can be a much smoother road for them.

Most of the time, I manage my anger and my feelings by pouring then into my passion to help survivors heal from all the effects of the abuse. Yet at times I hear about something that causes me to vent and I guess that is what this is. The anger can feel like it is overwhelming and has nowhere to go. That isn’t good. I stuffed that anger for a very long time and all it did was cause me to feel hopeless. Turning that anger into action and purpose is how I manage it these days. But for this moment in time, I needed to say to all the perpetrators of child sexual abuse – “F-you“ and how dare you violate a child’s trust. How dare you use your own sick needs and illnesses against an innocent child who must now wade through the devastation of your actions. You belong in prison. You belong somewhere where you cannot continue to hurt children and those that love them. Shame, shame, shame on you.